In my almost 10 years of being a mom I have gone through many different seasons of motherhood. I have run the gamut from trying to co-parent with someone with dependency issues, to single mom, to a stay at home mom with a supportive spouse. Currently I am working part time and home most of the time, which I have to say is my favorite. All were challenging and exhausting in different ways and hard to compare one to the other. There is one thing that continues to help me get through all of these parenting seasons and unfortunately it’s not a book. That would be so easy! The thing that has helped me has been much, much harder than reading any book and that is giving myself grace. Grace from others definitely helps too, but mainly myself. Grace for me means to let go of perfectionism, stop people-pleasing, heal from the past and try not to bring those hurt feelings into the present and future. It used to be impossible for me. I still harbor the past negative feelings but now I can look back and reflect rather than becoming super reactive when being triggered, most of the time. Triggering things for me still hold space in my heart from previous experiences with new people who didn’t have anything to do with those feelings and I am trying to learn to let go and move on. It’s a process and it’s mentally and physically exhausting but it’s truly the best thing I have done for my kids. I am more patient, more understanding, more forgiving and learning to give them more grace as I want to do to myself. I don’t want them to become the perfectionist, people pleaser that I grew into so I have to role model other behaviors and to do that I have to heal and move on. I am writing this because maybe you are that mother, woman, person who just needs to give yourself some grace or extend it to someone who you see struggling. It’s easy to judge and ignore others who are struggling but sometimes just a kind word can help. I will never forget when my youngest was 11 months old and we were at Kennedy Space Center. He was so tired and just screaming. I was walking and bouncing with him trying anything I could to get him to sleep in a public place and one woman looked at me between the others stares of annoyance and told me, “You’re doing great.” To this day it is still something that a stranger did that means so much to me. I want to be that stranger, I want to lead with love and heal and be whole for those who I love. It will always be a continuous journey and I am here for it and I hope you are too!
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